Sunday 26 July 2009

The Quarter-Life Crisis..Episode 2

In school was never that academic and generally was "Miss Average" in all subjects...... expect Art. In my art class I excelled, I was never happier than when my hands were covered in paint and music was blasting in the background for me to sing along too. In fact, I was even more happier singing than painting, but I never had the confidence to join the choir or sing in public. So I hid in the Art Room and got better and better.

When it came to leave High School, I nervously applied to Art School, got an interview and took my portfolio along. A lady there interviewed me, but worryingly
everyone else seemed so much better than me. She looked through my portfolio, which contained work that I had spent hours perfecting. With a face I couldn't read, she looked at me and said "It's not that good, but we have never had anyone from your school before" I did get a place on the course but being the sensitive person I am my confidence was knocked and I felt I had failed.....

A friend of mine suggested nursing which I had never thought of doing, but I felt I would be the worse one in Art School after her comments, so I eventually got a place on a Nursing course and qualified in 2004. I tried to love nursing, but an extremely busy ward was not the place for a perfectionist who couldn't give the care she wanted. So I moved wards thinking that would solve my problem but it made it worse. I have worked hard for five years, worked with some fantastic people and given my patients the best care I can....all the while feeling like my life was standing still....My friend called it my "Quarter-life Crisis"
I considered buying a house but when I realised I would be single, in a job I hate and in a life I didn't much like with a mortgage to pay, I decided to spend all the money I had saved for a house to travel the world. So I nervously booked my trip for November this year.

On a day that was the same as any other fate stepped in..... As I put medications into a medicine pot, a patient asked me if I had gone into nursing from high school, I don't know what made me say it, but I told him I had a place on an Art course but didn't take it up. Suddenly he took hold of my hand, immediately grabbing my full attention. He told me he was an Art Lecturer on the course and as it turned out his wife was the woman who had interviewed me! With his encouragement and constructive criticism from his wife, I have reapplied and start University in September 2010. After my "Gap Year" that is.....I know all this may seem crazy to some people but I'm hoping this is the start of a happier, more confident phase of my life......The life I was supposed to lead!

5 comments:

  1. This is so fantastic! Bravo for being braver than 99% of people in the world who hate their life, but are too scared to do anything about it.

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  2. Thanks! Fingers crossed it all works out for the best! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, I'm glad people are reading at at last ;-)

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  3. Good for you! It's that courage that many young women lack these days... which more often than not leads them into a life that they despise, either married to the wrong guy, in the wrong career field, etc

    It takes a LOT of courage to be strong, independent, and wise enough to see a bit further down the road of life and make such drastic changes on where you'll end up.

    No doubt, you will be SUPER happy in your Art program!---This is coming from me, who went to school for Court Reporting (which I hated), broke up with my then-fiance at age of 20 (one of those young puppy love things), quit Court Reporting, started with a company doing Accounting (which I LOVE), and also starting my own wedding photography company on the side at the age of 23! PHEWF

    If I can do so many drastic changes in such a short amount of time and live happily to tell about it, so can you!!

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  4. Thanks for the great comment V I'm inspired now! Just checked out your blog! Its ace ;-)

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  5. Hi! I just stumbled onto your blog and got sucked into this particular post. I think what you're doing is incredibly brave - and not only brave, but exciting! I'm graduating college this year and have no idea what I plan to do; I hope I can force myself to be as gutsy about it as you are. :)

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