Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Internet dating....Why I didn't call back....

The Science Guy: We met at Kro Bar.... You were late, when you arrived you didn't apologise and just sat down. You made out my job was pointless....."Why be a nurse when you could be the Doctor" you said. When I tried to explain you started looking around the room uninterested. When you talked, it was all about you.....Your job, how much you earn, how clever you are, where you live, the list was endless...... From what I could tell you spin things around in a big machine all day.......Thrilling I'm sure.

The Army Guy: We met in a Pub..... You were 10 foot tall, I was up to your crotch....perfect for you, not so thrilling for me. You kept interrupting me with statements like "You have beautiful eyes" Cornie, but OK at first.....but quickly grew old. You got upset/aggressive when I told you how off putting it was after you said "You're so hot" when I was talking about something completely unrelated to my hotness. You got jealous when some random bloke looked down my top and almost started a fight with him......Oh and you got wasted.

The Fat Guy: We met in Starbucks, you were lovely but in your profile picture you were hot..... In reality, not the case. We had lots in common, you had obviously made a big effort, but you were popping out your trousers, your shirt didn't fit and I couldn't help but notice the outline of your ball sack through your trousers!.....My eyes bled.
You told me you liked your women "clean" What did you mean my that???.....You were lovely conversion (but I didn't fancy you) You made me laugh (but I didn't fancy you) You walked me to the bus stop (but I didn't fancy you) You text me to say you had I lovely time (I felt guilty and vain for not fancying you).......You were the best internet date I had, maybe I should have called you back??????


  1. I tried the internet dating thing for a bit. I, too, have a list like this!

  2. Haha! Thats ok then...Was beginning to think I was a freak magnet!! ;-)


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