Friendships Lost....

It seems to me that I do a really good job of losing friends. Over the years I seem to have lost endless amounts of friends I once cared about. I don't think I am that difficult to get along with, it just seems that people don't think as highly of me as I think (or thought) about them.

I don't think I ask a lot from my so called friends, maybe a text now and again to ask me how I am or maybe an invitation to something they are doing. In return they get a loyal friend, someone who would bend over backwards for them. Someone who would drop everything at a moments notice to be there for them.

A fair trade....Or so I thought.

A year ago I thought I had lots of friends. People who cared about me, people who wanted me to be happy and people I thought I would be friends with for a long time. Little did I know how everything could change. Although there are a few people I socialise with, I can count possibly two or three friends who I keep in regular contact with and only one friend who truly has time for me and who I tell everything to without being judged.

When I went travelling it was to make life better, now it seems I was out of site out of mind.

It was a shocking turn of events.

Don't get me wrong, I know people have lives, work, kids, etc...but once in a while it would be nice not be to be the one chasing everyone else for a little bit of attention. Just once it would be nice to think that someone has thought about me for a change and that I am important to them in some small way.

Maybe, I am difficult to like? Maybe this is all my fault? Maybe I am too nice to people and they think they can walk on me?

If only everything were easier.......