Thursday, 2 June 2011

Changing Room Etiquette..

I went back to the gym today for the first time after my night shifts finished and oh did my eyes bleed....

Honestly, I always thought there was some kind of unspoken changing room etiquette that is instilled in you from a very young age, like the rules for boys at urinals....You know..."NEVER make eye contact" "NEVER use the empty urinal next to someone else if there is another one free" etc. Maybe its just my Englishness? After all everyone knows that Germans are excessively naked, but I am English and therefore I expect minimal nakedness in the changing room. Honestly those individuals who are excessively naked and proud, just kind of freak me out.

So there I was innocently drying my hair, when I couldn't help but notice the overly naked woman stepping out of the shower, towel in hand, heading right for me. When I say naked, I mean not a stitch, in the buff, I could see EVERYTHING and it wasn't a pretty sight....

Instinctively I looked away, but as she proudly marched around the changing room completely in the buff, it got me thinking....Do women get to a certain age and no longer care? Or is she just trying to screw with the minds of the young?
Like, "Take a long look bitch, this will be you in 50 years!"
Yes, it was an all female changing room, yes, we all have them and yes, I am a Nurse and therefore have seen naked bodies in all shapes and sizes....but this was just excessive, surely the towel she had in her hand would have been better around her body??

Ok, so women do to get their bits out to dry themselves, but isn't it the rule that you turn away from random strangers and avoid all eye contact??? Isn't it the rule that nakedness is acceptable while changing quickly, but wandering around the changing room for approximately 20 minutes, in the absolute buff is just plain weird??

Try as I might to avert my eyes, after seeing her wrinkly ass for approximately the fifth time in a very short space of time, that little voice inside me started to sound a little irate...Honestly Love, put some clothes on! Surely you have located your locker by now? Is it really necessary to walk back to the shower...again? Would you like me to show you what normal people do with towels on exiting the shower? Oh and you are aware there are children in here!...Right??

After I had dried my hair, got dressed and located my friend, we made a beeline for the door....
As we exited, a shiny white ass caught my eye as it wobbled past me (again).....
I so wanted to smack it!
How wrong am I!!


  1. So funny! There was someone walking around ours today naked and I just wondered why she didn't put on a towel at least!

  2. Ha! I'm used to nakedness (as an American), but when my daughter in law and I hit the mineral spa in Germany, we were treated to an 'udderly' freakish site in a woman of about 65. They had to weigh 20lbs a piece and swung like the wind.

    Btw, your header pic is breathtaking.

  3. Wow! That's too funny! Never thought of someone as being "udderly" a great description!


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