She smiles...

She smiles, as she is told "Don't worry, you will know when you meet the right person" Even though they are the 1000th person who has said that, yet she never has.

She smiles, as she watches others go on nights out, even when she knows they have "forgotten" to invite her.

She smiles, as she watches yet another person step on her heart without even realising.

She smiles, when she catches her brother out the corner of her eye kissing his girlfriend, knowing full well no one will ever love her that way.

She smiles, because she knows she should count her blessings.

She smiles, though she knows she is forgotten.

She smiles.

Randomness of the week

This week I seem to have been privy to the most random of statements...

On Wednesday I was at work and checking a patients temperature. Its a simple task, a trained monkey could do it and it isn't hard to understand that someone is taking your temperature...or so I thought anyway. So there I was sticking my probe in the patients ear (not his bottom) and waiting for my little peep.

Suddenly the patient asked "So nurse, what's my ear pressure?"

With a smile I said " Ear pressure???"

Patient: "Yes, I'm my GP says its 170/90, that's high isn''t it?"

I could have explained his school boy error, that there is no such thing as "ear pressure" and he was actually talking about his blood pressure, but I have answered questions about blood pressure about 20,000 times and it was too funny to correct.

So I simply said "Sir, I am taking your temperature and that is fine. Your blood pressure was checked earlier and that was also fine."

Yesterday I walked into the staff room to this:

"Well, she hid in his skin, mated with his sister and then killed him!"

Honestly, I could have asked them what the f**k they were talking about, but I felt it was better to continue making my lunch and avoiding all potential eye contact! hehe!

Today, when watching TV with my friend she randomly asked me,

"So what do you think of peach for bridesmaids dresses??"

At this point I must point out that a) We had NOT been talking about weddings b) My friend is NOT engaged and c) She is NOT planning a wedding.

So with a sideways glance and a raised eyebrow and a giggle, I simply said "No comment!"

Love it xx

Dreams....

If you could be anyone, do anything or go anyway, what would you do and why??

Mine is not to travel or to be rich, my dream is to do something I love. My dream is totally selfish, but dreams are right?

Mine would be to be a leading lady on the West End. It's not the fame I seek, its just the love of singing and performance, something I never persuaded as a child due to lack of confidence.

Yesterday I went to watch Mamma Mia. It was simply fun, fun, fun!!

Some people have the best jobs, fancy messing around on stage all night, making people happy and having a laugh with your friends. I'm sure its not all wonderful, but it seems that way through my eyes.

How nice it would be to do a job you absolutely LOVED.

How nice it would be to know people went home smiling because of you, every night!

If only....

Friendships Lost....

It seems to me that I do a really good job of losing friends. Over the years I seem to have lost endless amounts of friends I once cared about. I don't think I am that difficult to get along with, it just seems that people don't think as highly of me as I think (or thought) about them.

I don't think I ask a lot from my so called friends, maybe a text now and again to ask me how I am or maybe an invitation to something they are doing. In return they get a loyal friend, someone who would bend over backwards for them. Someone who would drop everything at a moments notice to be there for them.

A fair trade....Or so I thought.

A year ago I thought I had lots of friends. People who cared about me, people who wanted me to be happy and people I thought I would be friends with for a long time. Little did I know how everything could change. Although there are a few people I socialise with, I can count possibly two or three friends who I keep in regular contact with and only one friend who truly has time for me and who I tell everything to without being judged.

When I went travelling it was to make life better, now it seems I was out of site out of mind.

It was a shocking turn of events.

Don't get me wrong, I know people have lives, work, kids, etc...but once in a while it would be nice not be to be the one chasing everyone else for a little bit of attention. Just once it would be nice to think that someone has thought about me for a change and that I am important to them in some small way.

Maybe, I am difficult to like? Maybe this is all my fault? Maybe I am too nice to people and they think they can walk on me?

If only everything were easier.......

Stranger Danger!

It amazes me how many stories of randoms acting oddly towards my friend she has to tell...... Her latest tale I find possibly the most amusing.

There she was in the doctors waiting room, minding her own business, worrying about what the doctor would say, face stuck in a magazine, probably pretending she couldn't hear what was being said to the receptionist and ready to deny any medical knowledge at all... Then it happened.... She was "befriended" by a yellow man. When I say yellow, I mean alcoholic liver disease kind of yellow. The type of individual who if it wasn't considered rude in polite society, you would instantly and without question run a mile from......

Discrimination of his yellowness aside, the tattoo on his neck....of a skull and cross bones would have made any sensible girl run a mile, but not my friend... She remained polite, where I would have been defensive. Until it lead to the inevitable question.... The moment you bring a bit of sick up in your mouth....

I have warned her in the past about talking to strangers, especially those who are yellow.

Either way, there it was, before she could stop it, "Babe, can I take you out sometime? Maybe have your number???"

What was he thinking? Would they make beautiful yellow babies together?...

Obviously, she used the usual response.... "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend"

To which he replied "All the good ones are taken...."

I laughed when she told me.

Laziness is next to Godliness.

I should have gone to the gym today. Actually I should have gone to a Zumba class, but instead I remained on our brand new comfortable sofa... watching crappy daytime telly.

That little voice inside my head told me often that I should "Go for a run"

Lazy Answer: "My knees hurt" I have done something to both my knees and I am currently walking around like I have had "a little accident" and walking downstairs now has sound effects..."Ouch, eee, oooh....."

I suppose there is always swimming?.....Low impact, apparently.

Lazy Answer: "I will have to wash my hair after and it takes ages to dry"

Ok, maybe I should walk the dog?.... It was a fleeting thought..... Did I go??? Obviously not.

Wow. I am good at this aren't I?? Lazy or what!

Its OK though, I can always go tomorrow...... Probably.

When to stay away......

Can you judge someone on the decisions they make in their own lives? Even when you know it's the wrong one. Should you intervene at the risk of being accused of interfering, even if you would be stopping them from making what could be the worse mistake of their lives? Or do you just stand back, let them make their own decisions and be ready to pick up the pieces, even though you knew all along that it would end that way.....

What do you do when someone is insisting of putting a wrecking ball though their lives and hurting those who love them the most?....

This one is for you....

"A True friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes, while everyone else believes the smile on your face." Unknown.

In life you meet people who are truly good people but don't seem to realise it themselves. People who are encouraging to all that you do and supportive from a far. I have a friend who this applies too.

Although she doesn't always see it, she makes a difference in her own small way that motivate others to be better people. She does not preach to you, or tell you that your way is wrong, she listens and quietly reflects. Then she makes her impact in small reserved ways, that unknowingly to her have the biggest impact.

One of my fondest memories of her took place on Christmas Eve a few years ago. She had invited me to a carol service by candlelight to which she was playing in the band. Her faith is what makes my friend the special person she is, and as the vicar read his sermons she began to cry. At first I was concerned, worried even, but following a discussion with a mutual friend it was explained to me that this was her own personal stress release and how her deep desire to be a better person was released in those tears. I suddenly realised that her release of emotion, though it may seem unusual showed what a truly good person she is and how much she cares about everything.

After that I saw her in a new light.

At the start of the year she decided to not buy any new clothes for a whole year. This was an ethical decision, one of many, she had read an article about a woman who had decided to do this and how she managed to still look great for a whole year in clothes she already owned.

When I heard she was doing this I wasn't surprised. It made me smile as she has a very "individual" style that only works on her. I laughed as she explained that new underwear was permitted in this new year resolution, as she was not Christan enough to deny herself that, but I admired her conviction anyway.

Today, she complemented me on something I thought I was not that good at and it meant a lot. As I read her message something our mutual friend said ran through my head "She thinks she is a bad Christan."

Well I am here to tell you otherwise!

If all people of faith cared as much as you, the world would be a much better place.

So here's to you xxxxx

Check her out @ allibec.blogspot.com

Gym = Evil

"I f**king hate you" She shouted as I ran slightly ahead of her followed by my very overly energetic victory dance!

We have started our fitness regime, I have to say I hate exercise in any form, whether I win a race with my friend or not. So planning to start running probably wasn't the best idea I ever had.

Saying that though I joined the gym today, even the induction killed me! Within minutes I had mastered the "I'm not staring at you, opposite mirror people watch."

As I tried to look like I wasn't dying, I entertained myself with some important questions..... "Why the hell is that man running on the treadmill with a big woolly jumper on under his t shirt?" and "Where is that woman going that she is required to run for hours on the steepest incline in history??"

I have discovered that I could possibly be friends with the treadmill, but I am not on speaking terms with the cross-trainer! Bad, bad, bad! I managed only 2 whole minutes on that instrument of torture....Followed by an on the spot decision that I wasn't that bothered about being a skinny bitch after all...

I think those people who say they enjoy the gym are just kidding themselves......

The gym is evil. Simply Evil.

Why is life like this? I don't want Pippa Middleton's Ass...Just mine, expect less wobbly and a little more pert....If only there was an easier way....

A Dating Contradiction.......

Why can I not picture myself in a relationship with someone? Does that mean there is something wrong with me or that I am scared of getting hurt?

Should a person who can't picture themselves in a long term relationship with anyone be dating at all?

I went on my first actual internet date today, actually my first date in over a year. You would think that I would have learnt by now that internet dates NEVER works, but I try anyway, in the hope that all those chick flicks were right and the right guy in out there afterall...

Negativity aside he was actually quite nice, we talked about everything but I'm not sure there was any chemistry. Actually more to the point what is chemistry? And how do you know if you have it?

Was I attracted to him?? Hmm....Maybe not.....

Would I like some male attention?.......Yeah, probably.....