Sunday, 16 August 2009

Nervous? Hell yeah!

Its seems like everyone I meet lately is asking me the same question "When are you going on your travels" Now either they can't wait to get rid of me or they are excited for me......The thing is I have completely lost my nerve, so when people ask me about it, I don't come across as enthusiastic or excited, instead I am unsure and nervous.

Maybe it because I don't have my leaving date confirmed yet so I can't psych myself up. My travel agent seems to have forgotten I am alive, he had promised to "Get back to me" weeks ago but hasn't and everytime I ring he is "on a day off"....Do travel agents really have that many days off? Maybe I should be one?

Maybe I have lost my nerve because I feel so disorganised, I haven't sorted out my visas yet, I think I may end up spending the day in London queuing at the embassy doors! Oh no! I need a yellow fever certificate, all my vaccinations, a doctors letter, more money....loads more money, a backpack and all the stuff. I am still deciding about the lap top and phone, not sorted out any hostels yet, my mum is getting more stressed out by the day and it is getting ever nearer.....In short, I am Sh*tting myself!

Saying all that though I have moments of excitement, like when I saw my friends pictures of Zanzibar on facebook or when I saw a safari on the tv.....I have never been a "half full" kind of person, but I am trying to be......This trip is suppose to make me a better person, to allow me to see the world beyond Manchester, to become the free spirted, confident and outgoing person I have always wanted to be.

I have never done anything like this alone before, or been away from my family for so long, but even if I hate it and travelling isn't for me, I will not give in and come home. I am a strong person and I will experience it all.... The good and the bad. Here's hoping there is way, way more good than bad!

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