Glastonbury: The Arrival.

Well, how to some up Glasto???? So many stories so little time! It started in earnest with extreme irritation at the lady in the sat nav, after leaving Manchester at 12pm with an “estimated time of arrival” being 4pm we were happy bunnies. However, having already been in the car for more than 6hrs due to volume of traffic, stops for food and Sue’s extremely slow driving, we hit the road to Glastonbury……..

The Lady in the Sat Nav said 25 mintues to Glasto……Oh how wrong she was! 8 hours later the Sat Nav still thought we were now 20 minutes away and we crawled inch by inch into a muddy field to begin our Glastonbury adventure. After thanking God for the lack of rain we lugged our bags for miles to find my friend putting up the tents alone at 2am in the dark. In my genius I thought it would be useful to carry everyone’s stuff in my car……..Wrong! After finding the tent we then had to walk all the way back to the car in bring the rest of the bags and eventually collapsed into bed at sunrise at 5am.

At 6am the tent became a sauna, having some how ending up with my head at the wrong end of the tent I awoke to see a spider crawl over my friends arse!......In my sleepy state I debated flicking the offending spider off her bottom, though quickly re evaluated the situation when it occurred to me the she would wake up to me inappropriately flicking her bottom!

On the first day we happened upon some hippies in the “Healing Field” holding hands and chanting about flying, having fought off the strong urge to mock, they suddenly burst into song, this time they wanted everyone to “fly like an eagle” and had amusingly made a big eagle that they happy clapped around the field followed by other hippies fiddle dee deeing……..Unwittingly and in a very Mancunian accent I announced to all around “That eagles well flyin’ init!” Sending my friend into fits of laugher for the extremely odd looks I received…….Oh the shame!!

Unexpectedly bodily functions become the topic of conversion at Glasto, possibly related to the extreme trauma to the senses one experienced when trying to relieve ones self. Having purchased the “SheWee” I was unable to use it mainly weirded out by trying to wee like a man and having to face the very offending long drop, so I mastered to art of hovering over the long drop without pissing down my leg……..more difficult than it sounds!