Me. According to my friends....

Sometimes in life we need to hear good things about ourselves. It seems all to easy to focus on the bad stuff and in my case learning to take a compliment is something I am still working on.

A good friend recently told me that if I can't see good things in myself I should ask my friends what they like about me.

So I did.

Now I am writing them here not because I am big headed, but simply so they are written down and no matter what I can't change that. It is written fact. Maybe even now written in stone?

ME: "Ok this may seem like a crazy question but following some advice about learning to love myself a bit more, I thought I would ask my closest friends what they like about me....Sorry if this seems weird but those who under the concept of "Emmaism" will understand this completely."

FRIEND A: "This text just made me so happy, glad your taking my advice! Righty, So here's a few reasons why I think Em is great but bullet points don't really convey the fact that she is ace overall! So here goes...

1) Her complete refusal to give up on you as a friend. However, inept, haphazard and sometimes just plain unfeeling you may have been in the past.

2) Her protecting and cocooning nature and attitude with you if she sees you can't cope with much at the moment.

3) Her tell it like it is attitude.

4) You can trust her with anything!

P.S I don't fancy you by the way!! ;)

FRIEND B: I love the "roll your sleeves up and get stuck in" attitude, even if that involves rolling around in the mud. I love the person who can make anyone feel better about anything when they are feeling crappy. I love your laughter, remember that day on Hyde Park? When we lay on the grass and laughed till we made ourselves sick? That was fun and just plain happiness without props! I don't even know what we were laughing at now!

FRIEND C: You are fun loving, honest, caring and simply beautiful on the inside and out. You always listen and offer great advice. You are reliable and trustworthy! A perfect friend and I'm lucky to have you!

FRIEND D: I love that you say it like it is. You are honest and not two faced, You are giving, always supportive in a crisis and bloody impossible sometimes! But I love you anyway!

FRIEND E: You're honest, loyal, totally hilarious and ALWAYS fun to be with.

FRIEND F: I like you're loyalty to your friends, you're always smiling, you're honest even about your faults. I love your Emmaisms (like this one). You're helpful to others, you give amazing advice, you are just plain nice to be around.

FRIEND G: You're funny, cheerful, outgoing and always up for a laugh and that is just a few....

FRIEND H: Right here is my list about my favourite things about you...

1. You're a really good listener.

2. You give killer advice and you are always completely honest.

3. You have the most infectious laugh of out of everyone I know.

4. You're loyal.

5. I can sit with you for hours and put the world to rights because you put me completely at ease.

6.When you care about someone you can see past their bad points.

7. You have great hair. Bitch.

8. You love the arts and anyone who sees the beauty in the world is great in my book.

9. You love a good boogie and a singsong.

10. You're not afraid to show your sensitive side, even though you are the strongest person I know.

ME: Maybe they know something I don't???

Can I ever learn to love......me?

Maybe I use this blog as a sounding board for all the thoughts that go through my head? I think I write things on here that I can't really tell those around me. Maybe it makes for depressing reading but if no one actually reads it then I am not hurting anyone....right?

Following advice from my friend, which basically translated to "I need to learn to love myself more" I have decided that I am going to have a good think about all the things that I like about myself. I plan to consider whether I would like too be friends with me and what needs to be changed in my attitude towards myself and those around me that with hopefully lead to a happier future.

This may take sometime....

Learn to Love Yourself.....

I met up with one of my closest friends last night. She is someone who sees the good in everyone, someone who wants to heal the world and all who are in it. She knows all my deepest secrets and still loves me for it.

We started talking about things that had moved us recently. I told her I had read the first few chapters of "One Day" and how there was a paragraph in it that could have been written just for me! It even had my name printed in black and white on the page. It was like a slap in the face. I cried when I read it.

"Here it is. I think you're scared of being happy, Emma. I think you think that the natural way of things is your life to be grim and grey and dour and to hate your job, hate where you live, not to have success or money or God forbid a boyfriend! In fact I'll go further and say that I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving because it easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it. Is this annoying you? I bet it is."

My friend read it with a smile and insisted that I love myself more. She sent me away with the name of a book and a page number, she told me I had to start saying a particular paragraph to myself. When I found the book, "Eat, Pray, Love" page number 57 and read the paragraph I totally understood the point she was trying to make. I cried. Again.

(Main character talking to herself)

"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it. I will love you through that as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression and braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

She is a good friend that one.

Discussion Time.

"There's no aphrodisiac like innocence..."

Agree or Disagree?

Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out