One day....Maybe?

"Somewhere there is someone that dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it's true. Someone somewhere is thinking of you." ~ Unknown.

Someone once said It's nice that I still believe in love and that I am willing to take risks to find it." Recently though I have started to feel that I am wasting my time. Maybe I am meant to be alone? Maybe I will become one of those middle aged women who never marries and ends up caring for her aging mother? Maybe true love doesn't exist, maybe it's just something that is created in the movies and as a child you just assume that one day it will happen to you.

Recently it seems everyone around me is in a couple, all of my old friends are now married, most have babies and I am left on the side lines, endlessly texting them...... "Are you free today? Tomorrow? Next week??" Do they realise what I am really saying? "I am lonely, please spend time with me?" *tears*

I just hope there is a point to feeling like this now? That one day I will meet the person I was suppose to wait for and that it will all make sense.

I just can't help thinking.... What if there is not?

It's ok.

"The reason people find it hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than is was, the present worse than it is and future less resolved than it will be." ~ Marcel Pagnol.

I know this sounds totally obvious, but it only occurred to me the other day that life is how it is right at this moment. There is no point worrying about what has happened in the past or what might happen in the future. You can't change what has gone before only make positive changes to what might come in the future....

For me its about pushing myself to fill the empty spaces, reducing the amount of time I spend alone and not worrying about the choices I made in the past. I suppose they were the right choices at that time, otherwise I would have made different ones...Right?

I want to be a proactive person, someone who is positive not negative, someone who embraces those who want to be part of my life and disregards those who don't.

I could be a better version of me. And I will be.

Becoming a skinny bitch!

The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start ~ John Bingham.

One thing I have never been is a skinny bitch! So yesterday when I went on a mission to find some new jeans and found I didn't fit in my usual size, I was not a happy bunny and drowned my sorrows with a Domino's meat feast pizza, chicken wings and a garlic bread (Shared with a friend.....but still, you see my point.)

Last night I picked up a book I have refused to throw out for 3 years, "Running Made Easy" it contains all the motivational stuff about how running makes you more confident, less stressed, sets goals, makes you feel sexy and healthy....and oh yes I have been stucked in!

So I am going to do it! I am going to register for the Manchester 10k next year...I have already talked a friend into it and I will do it! Go me!