Saturday, 19 June 2010


One thing I didn't expect to feel when I planned my trip was being this down on my return..... I feel like I don't fit anywhere anymore. My friends all seemed to have managed perfectly well without me, one or two of them have missed me but on the whole they are not really bothered.... After all they have their own lives.

I have noticed small changes but they are exactly that, small changes like a Sainbury's Supermarket that has been built at the end of my friend's road causing me to get very lost when I drove to her house for the first time on my return. Mostly though everything is the same.

I have no idea what to do next..... I seem to have lost my motivation to do anything..... My last entry to my travel journal was full off positivity and plans for the future, but since I have got home and pressed play on my old life it feels more and more like I never went in the first place.

Maybe it is because I have recently realised I misjudged people who I thought were my friends, maybe its because I'm lonely after spending six months constantly in the company of others and now sit alone in my bedroom watching the Bones Box Set because no-one is free. Maybe it is because I'm not sure whether to go to Art School or continue a career in Nursing. Maybe its because I go for lunch surrounded by my friends and their babies and have nothing to contribute because I am quite obviously NOT part of the mummy's club..... I just don't fit anymore.

I know this isn't the most up beat post in the world, but I wanted to write it down, put it out there so I can start moving forward....The question is which way do I go and who is coming with me? Would anyone miss me if I wasn't here at all?

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