Reach for the Stars......

The Summer Fete...

Yesterday my sister invited me to come to her local Village Fete. Interesting, I thought... a nice way to spend a summer afternoon and embrace my Englishness. However, as the Village Gala Queen and row after row of Morris Dancers passed me, followed by the dance round the Maypole. I had an inner confession to make....I am a City Girl. Don't get me wrong I like the countryside as much as anyone and sometimes I even think I might like to live there, but in reality I think I prefer the city.

There is something about the Village Fete that I find weird......Do parents actually enjoy dressing their children up in the most awful and embarrassing outfits they can find? Is it so they can show the photo to everyone at their 18th birthday party?? Also is it not odd to allow your child to appear in public wearing a leopard skin cat suit??

Admittedly, I love the sense of community in a village that the city lacks. I love the fact that the kids can play with their friends with peace of mind and yes the Yorkshire countryside is lovely, but in reality a prefer the anonymity of the City. Either way, fully grown men Morris Dancing is just weird, city or not!

Missing..

One thing I didn't expect to feel when I planned my trip was being this down on my return..... I feel like I don't fit anywhere anymore. My friends all seemed to have managed perfectly well without me, one or two of them have missed me but on the whole they are not really bothered.... After all they have their own lives.

I have noticed small changes but they are exactly that, small changes like a Sainbury's Supermarket that has been built at the end of my friend's road causing me to get very lost when I drove to her house for the first time on my return. Mostly though everything is the same.

I have no idea what to do next..... I seem to have lost my motivation to do anything..... My last entry to my travel journal was full off positivity and plans for the future, but since I have got home and pressed play on my old life it feels more and more like I never went in the first place.

Maybe it is because I have recently realised I misjudged people who I thought were my friends, maybe its because I'm lonely after spending six months constantly in the company of others and now sit alone in my bedroom watching the Bones Box Set because no-one is free. Maybe it is because I'm not sure whether to go to Art School or continue a career in Nursing. Maybe its because I go for lunch surrounded by my friends and their babies and have nothing to contribute because I am quite obviously NOT part of the mummy's club..... I just don't fit anymore.

I know this isn't the most up beat post in the world, but I wanted to write it down, put it out there so I can start moving forward....The question is which way do I go and who is coming with me? Would anyone miss me if I wasn't here at all?