"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." ~ 

Guillaume Apollinaire.

I have a poor relationship with Facebook... We have an on/off relationship because I find it generally makes me feel bad about myself, so why would you have that in your life? When your block list is longer than your friend list there is either a problem with you or everyone you consider your "friend" so I have decided to blog instead, not so I can brag about where I have been on holiday or how many miles I have run, but just so I can document my life and my inner struggle to become a better version of myself. 

No one need ever read it, it is simply for me.

A few years ago, my oldest friend gave me a book by Oprah Winfrey called "what I know for sure" inside he left a note marked Christmas 2014, it said

"To my dearest and oldest friend, I read a few pages of this book everyday for 6 months, it really inspired me. I hope it enriches your life too. Now we both have a copy!" 

Honestly, it is the most up lifting book I have ever read, even though it took me two whole years to read! (Now I have gone back to the beginning) mostly she talks about her quest to find some kind of inner peace and fulfilment, something that I can relate to strongly.

There is also a section on gratitude, generally I am a half empty person, I tend to see only the negative things in life, I attend counselling in a search to understand myself and develop better coping strategies. I speak to myself in my head negatively everyday..... My quest is to find a way to love myself and the little things in life, therefore I plan to write my gratitude journal on my blog. 

So what am i grateful for today?

• A cuddle from my boyfriend (Dave) this morning. Why? I wished for him and someone granted it.
• The sunshine, its rare here, it didn't last all day but it made everything seem better.
• Cooking. I made gammon, it took 5 hours plus 35 minutes roasting. Why did it make me happy? Because its makes Dave happy.
• Not switching on the TV. Why? Sometimes I think I am losing brain cells.
• The smell of my freshly washed hair. Why? Some people don't enjoy that luxury.
• Time to myself. Why? My thoughts sometimes overwhelm me, I need time to stop thinking.
• Watching the sunset from my bed. Why? I was lucky enough to have to time to appreciate it.