Internet Dating.....It begins again!

I thought I might give internet dating another bash, this was after I was talked into it by a friend of mine while picnicking in the spring sunshine..... She used all the usual statements to talk me round "What have you got to lose?" "It's more socially acceptable now" and my personal favourite "Mr Right could be just a click away" obviously she is NOT single.....

So I found a "free" dating website, copied and pasted an old "Tell us about what you are looking for" statement from another dating site I once joined and added a picture...

Then a few days went by and I forgot about the profile until today when I was avoiding doing some work. So I logged onto the website and to my surprise I had 72 messages! Granted there were some "special" individuals in the mix.......a couple of delusional 50 year olds in need of a mail order bride and one who was 67 years old probably in need of a carer, but hey God loves a trier....Right!

Well Done Boys you made me giggle ;-)

One day....Maybe?

"Somewhere there is someone that dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it's true. Someone somewhere is thinking of you." ~ Unknown.

Someone once said It's nice that I still believe in love and that I am willing to take risks to find it." Recently though I have started to feel that I am wasting my time. Maybe I am meant to be alone? Maybe I will become one of those middle aged women who never marries and ends up caring for her aging mother? Maybe true love doesn't exist, maybe it's just something that is created in the movies and as a child you just assume that one day it will happen to you.

Recently it seems everyone around me is in a couple, all of my old friends are now married, most have babies and I am left on the side lines, endlessly texting them...... "Are you free today? Tomorrow? Next week??" Do they realise what I am really saying? "I am lonely, please spend time with me?" *tears*

I just hope there is a point to feeling like this now? That one day I will meet the person I was suppose to wait for and that it will all make sense.

I just can't help thinking.... What if there is not?

Boy Tales: Army Boy.

"Regret for things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for things we did not do that is inconsolable" ~ Syndey Smith.

Army Boy:

I met you in my nan's garden, we were having a family party and you were the son of a friend of the family. Dressed in your uniform and carrying your daughter how could I resist....
We chatted in the garden as we played with your daughter and I thought nothing else of it (how could you possibly fancy me) until suddenly I started receiving text messages from you.

You were sexy, funny and flirtatious. We liked the same things and eventually you convinced me to drive the 4 and a half hours to your house for the weekend. I remember I was excited and wasn't nervous until we were alone together.....Which is when I morphed into a neurotic woman.

Boy, did I over analyse you...

You took me onto your base and proudly showed me around while talking about your job. You acted like the perfect gentleman, you paid for our meals and opened doors for me. You took me into the city and as we wandered around the cathedral, I began to panic..."What if he expects me to sleep with him?" You tried to chat to me but I was tense and conversation was silted. I remember you telling me "Military men often marry nurses because they can get a job in any hospital" Causing my mind to go into complete overdrive.....

When the evening came we chatted on the sofa, I quizzed you about your ex wife and you explained how you had to stay in contact with her for your daughter's sake. You told me that she played mind games with you and showed me how she sent you erotic pictures of herself to keep your interest even though she had a new partner.
The photos were all the excuse I needed.
It was Game Over.

In the morning, I woke up at 7am put on my clothes and left. Giving you a silly excuse about having to get home. As I got in my car, I looked at you through the rear view mirror, standing on your doorstep in your towel looking all dumbfounded. I felt so bad when you said "but.. I was going to make us dinner." I started to cry, but I drove away anyway.

To my surprise the texts continued and I replied...beating myself up about my "girlie freak out".....Asking my friends "Was it me?" but knowing full well it was. After a few weeks, when you asked me what you did.. I confessed everything, endured the usual "REALLY!??" conversation, but to my surprise you still wanted to see me.

When your family arranged a party and invited my family.. I was surprised as I hadn't seen you since I ran away, but I made the effort...doing the girlie thing of putting on some make up and over analysing myself in the mirror. Telling myself a few times..
"You're so fat!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes, you are!"

When I arrived to my horror I realised I was overdressed......only to have your dad ask "Have you got dressed up for him" Which only deflated my confidence to less than zero.

When I realised your whole family knew about me and had been excitedly awaiting my arrival. I had my second "girlie freak out" and refused to make eye contact or talk to you. When you followed me to my car to ask if you had done something wrong, I immediately felt bad and just said "I feel a bit self conscious" I felt so uncomfortable, so eventually I left the party.....
Confidence in tatters.

Unsurprisingly, I never heard from you again.

A few weeks ago your dad sent me pictures of your wedding to a gorgeous blond, you looked so happy...

God I missed out.

Yes, I do mock....and often!

" I don't believe in email. I'm an old fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up!" ~ Carrie Bradshaw.

So after my latest trails and tribulations and in a attempt to move forward with my life I logged back on to an Internet dating site today only to find this email:

"Hello,
i like your profile, you are very pretty and gentlewoman,
i am doctor medical,
i am teacher in university too.
i am working on production and application of anti-cancer druges,
i am looking for a sex girl for nice, romantic and good relationship,
if you like my profile please inform me."

It cheered me up so much! Poor Guy! hehehe! x

Internet dating....Why I didn't call back....

The Science Guy: We met at Kro Bar.... You were late, when you arrived you didn't apologise and just sat down. You made out my job was pointless....."Why be a nurse when you could be the Doctor" you said. When I tried to explain you started looking around the room uninterested. When you talked, it was all about you.....Your job, how much you earn, how clever you are, where you live, the list was endless...... From what I could tell you spin things around in a big machine all day.......Thrilling I'm sure.


The Army Guy: We met in a Pub..... You were 10 foot tall, I was up to your crotch....perfect for you, not so thrilling for me. You kept interrupting me with statements like "You have beautiful eyes" Cornie, but OK at first.....but quickly grew old. You got upset/aggressive when I told you how off putting it was after you said "You're so hot" when I was talking about something completely unrelated to my hotness. You got jealous when some random bloke looked down my top and almost started a fight with him......Oh and you got wasted.

The Fat Guy: We met in Starbucks, you were lovely but in your profile picture you were hot..... In reality, not the case. We had lots in common, you had obviously made a big effort, but you were popping out your trousers, your shirt didn't fit and I couldn't help but notice the outline of your ball sack through your trousers!.....My eyes bled.
You told me you liked your women "clean" What did you mean my that???.....You were lovely conversion (but I didn't fancy you) You made me laugh (but I didn't fancy you) You walked me to the bus stop (but I didn't fancy you) You text me to say you had I lovely time (I felt guilty and vain for not fancying you).......You were the best internet date I had, maybe I should have called you back??????