Internet Dating.....It begins again!

I thought I might give internet dating another bash, this was after I was talked into it by a friend of mine while picnicking in the spring sunshine..... She used all the usual statements to talk me round "What have you got to lose?" "It's more socially acceptable now" and my personal favourite "Mr Right could be just a click away" obviously she is NOT single.....

So I found a "free" dating website, copied and pasted an old "Tell us about what you are looking for" statement from another dating site I once joined and added a picture...

Then a few days went by and I forgot about the profile until today when I was avoiding doing some work. So I logged onto the website and to my surprise I had 72 messages! Granted there were some "special" individuals in the mix.......a couple of delusional 50 year olds in need of a mail order bride and one who was 67 years old probably in need of a carer, but hey God loves a trier....Right!

Well Done Boys you made me giggle ;-)

Yes, I do mock....and often!

" I don't believe in email. I'm an old fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up!" ~ Carrie Bradshaw.

So after my latest trails and tribulations and in a attempt to move forward with my life I logged back on to an Internet dating site today only to find this email:

"Hello,
i like your profile, you are very pretty and gentlewoman,
i am doctor medical,
i am teacher in university too.
i am working on production and application of anti-cancer druges,
i am looking for a sex girl for nice, romantic and good relationship,
if you like my profile please inform me."

It cheered me up so much! Poor Guy! hehehe! x

Internet dating....Why I didn't call back....

The Science Guy: We met at Kro Bar.... You were late, when you arrived you didn't apologise and just sat down. You made out my job was pointless....."Why be a nurse when you could be the Doctor" you said. When I tried to explain you started looking around the room uninterested. When you talked, it was all about you.....Your job, how much you earn, how clever you are, where you live, the list was endless...... From what I could tell you spin things around in a big machine all day.......Thrilling I'm sure.


The Army Guy: We met in a Pub..... You were 10 foot tall, I was up to your crotch....perfect for you, not so thrilling for me. You kept interrupting me with statements like "You have beautiful eyes" Cornie, but OK at first.....but quickly grew old. You got upset/aggressive when I told you how off putting it was after you said "You're so hot" when I was talking about something completely unrelated to my hotness. You got jealous when some random bloke looked down my top and almost started a fight with him......Oh and you got wasted.

The Fat Guy: We met in Starbucks, you were lovely but in your profile picture you were hot..... In reality, not the case. We had lots in common, you had obviously made a big effort, but you were popping out your trousers, your shirt didn't fit and I couldn't help but notice the outline of your ball sack through your trousers!.....My eyes bled.
You told me you liked your women "clean" What did you mean my that???.....You were lovely conversion (but I didn't fancy you) You made me laugh (but I didn't fancy you) You walked me to the bus stop (but I didn't fancy you) You text me to say you had I lovely time (I felt guilty and vain for not fancying you).......You were the best internet date I had, maybe I should have called you back??????