Internet Dating.....It begins again!

I thought I might give internet dating another bash, this was after I was talked into it by a friend of mine while picnicking in the spring sunshine..... She used all the usual statements to talk me round "What have you got to lose?" "It's more socially acceptable now" and my personal favourite "Mr Right could be just a click away" obviously she is NOT single.....

So I found a "free" dating website, copied and pasted an old "Tell us about what you are looking for" statement from another dating site I once joined and added a picture...

Then a few days went by and I forgot about the profile until today when I was avoiding doing some work. So I logged onto the website and to my surprise I had 72 messages! Granted there were some "special" individuals in the mix.......a couple of delusional 50 year olds in need of a mail order bride and one who was 67 years old probably in need of a carer, but hey God loves a trier....Right!

Well Done Boys you made me giggle ;-)

Backpacker Memoirs....Victoria Falls, Zambia.

Monday 28th December 2009.

Well today started off with a bang. After our official visit to Victoria Fall yesterday which was amazing....Today with got to see feel it's power, even when the river is low! A few of us decided to go to "The Devil's Pool" just above Victoria Falls.


Basically, being the stupid tourists that we are, we paid money to swim in a pool at the top of Vic Falls! It's funny really, they advertise it as "Livingstone Island" sounds pretty sedate, but when you get there they have you climbing over rocks in your bikini for hours with some African guy right behind you. Who somehow manages to "guide" you in the right direction with his hand right on your ass and a well timed wink....

Honestly though, it was an massive adrenaline rush. They had us swimming though water that was trying to push you over the edge with only two guys to grab hold of you before you tipped over the edge! They had us jump into the pool in a certain place right on the edge, the power of the water was unbelievable! I ended up with so many bruises and scratches, but we got our first slap up breakfast complete with knife and forks and proper towels to dry ourselves off with afterwards.....We got overly excited and got some funny looks, but none of the other tourists had been camping for 60 days.....Light weights! hehe!

All in all, an amazing day.

One day....Maybe?

"Somewhere there is someone that dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it's true. Someone somewhere is thinking of you." ~ Unknown.

Someone once said It's nice that I still believe in love and that I am willing to take risks to find it." Recently though I have started to feel that I am wasting my time. Maybe I am meant to be alone? Maybe I will become one of those middle aged women who never marries and ends up caring for her aging mother? Maybe true love doesn't exist, maybe it's just something that is created in the movies and as a child you just assume that one day it will happen to you.

Recently it seems everyone around me is in a couple, all of my old friends are now married, most have babies and I am left on the side lines, endlessly texting them...... "Are you free today? Tomorrow? Next week??" Do they realise what I am really saying? "I am lonely, please spend time with me?" *tears*

I just hope there is a point to feeling like this now? That one day I will meet the person I was suppose to wait for and that it will all make sense.

I just can't help thinking.... What if there is not?

It's ok.

"The reason people find it hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than is was, the present worse than it is and future less resolved than it will be." ~ Marcel Pagnol.

I know this sounds totally obvious, but it only occurred to me the other day that life is how it is right at this moment. There is no point worrying about what has happened in the past or what might happen in the future. You can't change what has gone before only make positive changes to what might come in the future....

For me its about pushing myself to fill the empty spaces, reducing the amount of time I spend alone and not worrying about the choices I made in the past. I suppose they were the right choices at that time, otherwise I would have made different ones...Right?

I want to be a proactive person, someone who is positive not negative, someone who embraces those who want to be part of my life and disregards those who don't.

I could be a better version of me. And I will be.

Becoming a skinny bitch!

The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start ~ John Bingham.

One thing I have never been is a skinny bitch! So yesterday when I went on a mission to find some new jeans and found I didn't fit in my usual size, I was not a happy bunny and drowned my sorrows with a Domino's meat feast pizza, chicken wings and a garlic bread (Shared with a friend.....but still, you see my point.)

Last night I picked up a book I have refused to throw out for 3 years, "Running Made Easy" it contains all the motivational stuff about how running makes you more confident, less stressed, sets goals, makes you feel sexy and healthy....and oh yes I have been stucked in!

So I am going to do it! I am going to register for the Manchester 10k next year...I have already talked a friend into it and I will do it! Go me!

ADELE -- One and Only

Girl on Heat.....

Hold me and love me,
just wanna touch you for a minute. ~
Stefani Germanotta.

I have never been the type of girl to drool over men.
I never admit to anyone that I think a guy is hot or openly flirt with someone. It maybe the years of having my brain washed by chick flicks or maybe I am just getting more desperate, but recently I have noticed that I am checking out guys in the most unbelievably inappropriate situations.....

Situation 1:
He was a Paramedic Student, young and hot in his green outfit, working with me to practice taking blood on the unsuspecting sick. He made my shift so much easier and we laughed and joked all day. My mind ticked over as I wondered if he had a girlfriend or whether or not he was gay, we talked about travelling and his university course....I hoped he would ask me out at the end of the shift but no luck there....

Situation 2:
My Nana got me tickets to an amateur dramatics show in her local church hall, I wasn't that keen on going but went for her only to discover I was the only one in the room (expect for the actors) who didn't have grey hair. He was an actor in the play (it was terrible) When they came to lap up the applause at the end our eyes met.....he was hot, I hadn't noticed....

Situation 3:
I was shopping with Mum for a Christmas tree and he was the lumberjack type who was chopping the trees to the right size. He was rough round the edges, smelt like wood, had dirt all over his face and hands. He smiled at me as he promised to carry it to my car......I wanted to share at him longer, but my mum wanted to pay....

Situation 4:
My personal favourite, he was a passerby who helped detain a man who was trying to break into my car. He was muscley, sure of himself, well spoken and caring....He was the type of guy I wrote to Santa about getting for Christmas........When the police came, I could have given them a detailed description of him.....Maybe be the criminal! It turns out he lives just a few doors down, he was walking his dog when he saw what happened and came to help a damsel in distress....I wonder if my dog would like a walk later???